There are 3 victims in Bullying
1) Bully (yes they are a victim and I will get to that later)
2) Target
3) Bystanders
I say the school bully is a victim because they do not have the proper tools to express themselves. Many times they have been the victim of bullying and intimidation themselves, and this is the only way they know how to act. Many learn from their parents and/or adults that are around them acting out of control. As parents we need to be mindful of the example we set for our children. Sometimes the apple does not fall far from the tree.
We don't always know why targets are targets. Shy kids. Geeky kids. Even popular kids are bullied. Bullying crosses race, gender and socioeconomic lines.
For the bystanders ( the kids who see the bullying) we need to teach our children empathy, and we need to encourage them to have a voice and speak out if they see something going on that they know is not right. We need to act on this now, and not sit back and let someone else take care of it.
All 3 are victims and we need to find ways to eliminate bullying in our schools. Remember that they are ALL children, and they all need our guidance and support.
Don't know where to start? Here are 10 things you can do right now!
10 Actions ALL Parents can take to Eliminate Bullying
http://www.thebullyproject.com/ Join and become involved.
I was teased and bullied in elementary and middle school, and I got through it because of my mom. I think if I had been one of those kids who had a parent that did not care, it would have hurt my feelings more. I remember being 20 years old and still being hurt by things that people said to me as a kid. It takes time, but I think it things are better now because people are aware this happens. Back in the late 80's and early 90's administrators just wanted to sweep this stuff under the carpet.
ReplyDeleteI was a victim in both school and college, and it wasn't pleasant. I hit back, however, and was let alone soon enough.
ReplyDeleteDamyanti @Daily(w)rite
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Makes me cringe thinking about bullying. Poor kiddos in school these days- they have to worry about being bullied on the internet as well as the classroom.
ReplyDelete(Stopping by from the A to Z Challenge)
Deb hi.
ReplyDeleteThere are a huge amount of things I could tell you about being bullied, I was. But, to tell the truth, there is only one thing you need to know as a parent with regards to your child being victimized: Both boys and girls grow up in the company of women, well mostly anyway. A girl's position in the society of women is established very early on, boys however will, during puberty, need to establish themselves in the society of men. The acceptance of boys during this period (by their peers) and the treatment they undergo at this critical time, will form the foundation of their self immage for the rest of their lives. You are either accepted or you are not. It's as simple as that. Children are simple creatures, it's adults that are complicated.
If your child is being bullied and you really care about their future, as you should, don't say to them " Oh stop being such a wimp, fight back." Get your act together and sort it out, one way or another, even if it means changing schools.
Enough from me, blessings and salutations from South Africa, Geoff.
Locally a kid who was being bullied, took his own life. It wasn't just one kid doing the bulling, but a gang of them waiting outside his house to beat him up. He contacted the school councilor who basically did nothing.
ReplyDeleteTwo of my girls were bullied as well and instead of the 'bully' getting any kind of correction, he got reward and special privileges (like working with the K class--thinking it would 'soften' him). It didn't help, he just got better at hiding who he bullied and picked on kids who didn't speak up for themselves.
I home school now! :-)
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